Namaste Guruji, Namaste Guruma,
This video is from 2021, where I shared my first meditation experience in the presence of Guruji.
It was during a period of peak anxiety for me. From the moment I woke up in the morning to when I fell asleep at night, I felt a constant sense of dread. My days were just slipping away. I wasn’t able to complete anything. After the COVID lockdown, I vacated my room and returned to my hometown. Around the time I was deciding to quit the MPhil I had been pursuing at JNU, my father came to know about Guruji.
(We had started meditating, but when I think about it now, I realize I hadn’t fully surrendered myself.)
Months passed. I didn’t have the mental or financial state to go back to Delhi and complete my dissertation.
With only three months left until the MPhil submission deadline, a miracle happened. I happened to talk to a senior. She said her family had shifted to Delhi and offered that I stay at their home and complete my MPhil from there. She had no obligation to offer such help, but she did.
There was no way I could finish writing in just three months. Still, I felt like going to meet my supervisor once. I reached Delhi in October 2021. My supervisor was doubtful if I could make it in time but still chose to help me. In November 2021, I went to Ooty and completed my fieldwork. Even then, it didn’t seem possible to finish writing. But somehow, I felt a new kind of courage.
December 1, 2021: With just a month left for the MPhil submission date, a notice came extending the deadline by 6 months. 🙏🏽
After that, the universe blessed me with the ability to stay in Delhi for nearly a year and write my dissertation and complete all the formalities peacefully. A discipline I had never known until then was gifted to me by the universe. At the time, I didn’t realize that all of this was orchestrated by the universe.
I returned to my hometown at the end of 2022. Although I continued to meditate, I was often lazy to attend morning classes. Later, I was given small translation tasks for Thasmai, which helped me stay in that orbit without drifting away. For that, I’ll always be indebted to Guruji and Guruma. 🙏🏽
During my ignorant phase, I was very skeptical about Guruji. Even though I was prideful and was undeserving, when I think about how Guruji and Guruma put in so much effort to help me and my family, I feel so much regret.
I seek forgiveness for the mistakes I made, knowingly and unknowingly. 🙏🏽
This is one of the many blessings I don’t want to forget—so I’m writing it down here. 😄
(PS: On the day this video was shot, Guruji had said that my acne would go away with meditation. It was hard to believe then, but today I have no acne issue!)
At this moment, I gratefully remember my father—who introduced Guruji to me, my mother—who dragged me to attend classes even when I had no interest, and my brother—who began meditating with me. 🙏🏽😊
Namaste. 🙏🏽
