It was suggestion from my most revered MASTER (GURU) THASMAI GURUJI to identify how every disciple of him carved out the way to SPIRITUALITY.
It is then; my effort to rewind the life events and place it together to track my the Spiritual journey took shape.
I was born and brought up in a Kerala Hindu family which is a state of Spiritual India where you find no enlightened Guru or hardly you can pick on finger tips. Then under great guidance of noble honest and family loving parents; who looked after their siblings, kids & their parents. They set examples of being truthful, non violent, obedient, respectful, compassionate, etc. by their life. Our Initial spirituality was nil alternatively was devotional with usual temple visits and evening prayer (Sandhya Vandana) witnessing Serene traditional Oil lamp (Nila Vilakku) in an initial guidance.
A step further was the decision of parents to undertake Sabarimala Pilgrimage at the age of 11 yrs ; were customary 41 days fasting is a highlight. It will introduce you to the soul within you.
1. Bath with river dip in cold winter early hours of dawn at 04:30 hrs the Brāhma muhoorat. Apply holy ashes all over the body in procedure, staying silent as the black rob reminds you of the saint hood discipline,
2. Obey food discipline viz. Consume only Fresh cooked simple untouch food, with strong abstain from outside consumption or any social food ; if not, then sacrifice it. Even the shower before any meal is mandatory.
3. Abstain from entertainment, luxury are prerequisites by moving always in bare foot. Next in routine is control over mind – Celibabcy (Brahmacharya), Devoid of evil thaught & deed, and especially with opposite sex. The need to respect & address requirements of ladies during their periods cycle will educate the individual to be attached and detached in society. We are doctored to chant the lord’s name loud “SWAMI YE SARANAM AYYAPPA” visualising the deity in mind so that you can break the bad thaught, feeling, emotions etc. in a single crack. Meaning (Lord AYYAPPA you are the Refuge)- The great Guru; who is godly. This will guide you to be in the path of Dharma (morality, righteousness, duty, virtue, charity, law, ethics, function, alms, religion, equitableness, rightness etc).
41-day fasting regimen followed by trekking in a raw forest climate is incredibly transformative. It supposedly tones both physical and mental resilience, and helps mold a stronger attitude towards life’s challenges. Something that really resonated with me. Though I loved to continue that system myself because of wonderful soul communication encountered in the process, eventually it went to oblivion. Still the lustre of that flame was alive.
The second Path break came during the course of life, when mom shared life events of her childhood younger brother – my uncle who went for “NIRMALYA DARSHAN” in local Bhagavati temple at 03:30 AM; copying a local elderly individual.(Which is the first early morning sighting of the deity in a Hindu temple, where devotees see the idol as it was adorned with the previous night’s flowers and ornaments). I kept this information dormant and life passed over through long years.
At the age of 36 I had a brief break in my career and was back home. During idle days the same idea rekindled in me – Perform a 41 day Nirmalya Darshan without break. I neither took any suggestions, opinion nor guidance , from anyone – just made a vowed by and embarked on my ambitious journey.
However there is one event to be mentioned in between is that, I was dragged into a Nirmalya Darshan at Guruvayoor Srikrishna temple by virtue of situation though I was not willing for the same. It happened after a short voyage break at Kochi when friends made a plan to visit Guruvayoor Srikrishna temple where as I was only interested in going home which is midway from Kochi to Guruvayoor. The relentless persuation from friends and unfortunate delay in reaching home town after wee hours made me to reconsider and visit Guruvayoor. I decided getting home is meaningless when whole family is sleeping and decided to be at the abode of Lord Krishna. That Nirmalya Darshan was a quite unforseen bliss which came in my life with due credit to those two souls.
The beginning of 41 days continuous Nirmalya Darshan was unsuccessful by being lethargic to getup from bed, delay from river dip along temple side, coincide with mischief from old elderly priest who open the sanctum sanctorum precise time when he lose sleep. After a couple of weeks I could board the cradle and be present ahead of time.
Initial days were mechanical and after achieving the 41 days continueous Darshan it was normal. I didn’t stop there; I continued darshan and within a week I could feel of a divine bond with the deity. I experienced that magnetic field on every of my presence in front of the deity. That was an eye opening experience and I continued enjoying the same.
Very soon I could grab a most enchanted appointment from abroad and left to pursue the career. Subsequently the feeling of attraction with the deity got nullified by being away for long.
Next occasion to embark my spiritual voyage was awaiting me on my home coming. It was through the book to read, offered by a Christian friend. The famous book named “Oru Himalayan Yogiyude AtmaKadha” – Autobiography of a Himalayan Master” Written by famous living yogi and Guru who is generally known as Padma Bhushan Mr. M. Frm Nath tradition. Sooner I could grab anoher the book “Autobiography of a YOGI” by great saint Paramhans Yogananda. This paved a way for the search of a Guru.
By yr 2020 I happened to come across a Guru from Chattisgarh through YouTube who began online classes due to COVID and started practicing Kriya. Later I realised that the guruji parted complete course only to disciples who reached in person to him. I was unable to move out of home on compassionate reason.
Later descipled to another gurunath at Thalassery and practiced Kriya yoga imparted by him. I was unable to scrutinize myself regarding the Kriya progress and meditation in Ardh Padmasan wasn’t comfortable to make upto 1 hr meditation which Guruji demanded. I was unable to perform meditation beyond half an hour with both knees with it’s torn ligaments. I had break in sadhana after 3 or 6 months of gap.
There I came across THASMAI GURUJI ‘s kids experience video with Sri Ganesh ji and was fascinated by their experiences. The main attraction for me was most comfortable seating on a chair for meditation unlike any other meditation practice like Padmasan, Siddhasan etc..
The rules to follow though sound easy, gradually realised that it is difficult for present world socio- family set up. Because their support and cooperation is very much dependent on successfull meditation process.
I joined THASMAI GURUJI ‘S classes and Sought permission to start meditation after 3 months of joining classes on 24 May 2024.
The very first day Sun Meditation I was surprised to see two eyes in horizon which flushed and faded thrice, then an orange tunnel decorated with white concentric light which turns sky blue, a serpent with hood infront of me, a right feet, a left feet bottom view, etc. In Moon meditation a rabbit or cat face in white faded colour showed up. Second day I saw the face images of wife and myself in sun meditation.
On my further meditation, I used to see white light covering dark cloudy sky with an unknown source above my head. Saw meditating Sri Narayana Gurudev, Shirdi saibaba too. In my later meditations I witnessed Lord Shiv ji, Saraswati Mata, White elephant (Sri Ganesh ji) slowly extending his trunks to me , snow land, Guruji , Bala Ganesh ji, Guruvayoor Srikrishna, Krishna Kanhaiya, a double foot print, a red planet, a planet with blue light on left and white light on right on, a cluster of stars with flash in back drop. A snowy golden red mountains shining in sunlight, Kailash Parvat, ect.
I experienced astral head movement by end of 6th mandal (a mandal is 41 days) slow and steady but will face Sun or moon with termination of meditation even if you sat in a different angle when you started it.
Now while on completion of my 7th round I do experience break in my breath which I realised with sudden gasp coming in deep meditation.
Though the physical experience in routine meditation were different, when I analyse the changes in my charector I noted myself getting closer to my wife emotionally than before, started omitting arguments by clearing off, diet came under control & keep harmony with hunger even if skip meals, was much active for the day sleep level came down.
Outing and social involvement reduced, even if I go, I stay away from food.
At present,noticed friends now a days think to keep me undisturbed and stopped inviting for get-together.. I started analysing do’s and don’ts. I feel like getting independent or liberated. I am getting secluded.
